Live audience performance in Nida, Lithuania, 2023
Participants were asked in advance to write thoughts about their understanding of "shyness" on a piece of paper. Then the group was led on a silent walk through the forest and into the dunes, all the while passing the slips of paper quietly between them. When they arrived at the site where i was naked and lying in a hole in the sand, they were led on the upper perimeter of the dune in a circle around me. They were asked to look at me indirectly or "just shy of" my performance. By seeing me in their periphery, it was my intention that they don't just witness a human figure, but a context- a shy gaze expanding their viewpoint into an interrelated perception of the vast the landscape, their own walking body, the people walking in front of them, and my isolated, vulnerable body below.
Shyness has a unique way of attending to the spaces between; of seeing all the unspoken words and feeling the charged air of emotional bodies. Often in a state of shyness myself, I have experienced how every move i make and word i speak can feel like a silent, clumsy elephant. My presence and actions feel paradoxically both crudely mammoth and invisible to those around me. All the while, there is my critical, internal eye. I wanted to place myself in this uncomfortable state of shyness through my performance in a way that would illustrate it in confronting terms.
Once the participants had completed the circle around me, they were invited to walk up to me in the ditch. For the duration of their walk i had been frantically trying to hide myself, face buried into the ground, by using my flailing limbs to move the sand to cover my body. The invitation was for them to whisper to me a line from one of the papers or something they wanted to share with me about shyness. Few people approached me and let me in to the thoughts that has been exchanged amongst the group on their walk. This reticence both perhaps demonstrated their own shyness, while also making visible how a shy person is so easily ostracized, especially in a extroverted social cutlure and herd mentality.